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So I just told my boss that were pregnant and that I’m due in November. Who knows how this will affect my career considering as he said it himself, I currently carry 95% of the load in this area. As well I’m waiting on word about stock and I have a feeling this will affect it. But I wanted to do the right thing and give him plenty of heads up with the dr appt I’ll be going to and from everyone else I’ve seen the second shows much quicker so I don’t want to lie to them about it. This company has taken great care of me to date and I hope it continues… I think part of the difficulty is that I am a woman In a mans world. I am the only female PM in our company at this time and so something like this is really unknown to them. We’ll see.

What a horrible day already… I landed last night at midnight from a stupid one day work trip, got home around 1, went and got the dog at 7 from a coworker before he went to work, haven’t seen my baby yet because she has an Easter party at daycare I don’t want her to miss and if I go pick her up after not seeing her for 2 days she won’t want to stay there. I go into the elevator to go to my ob appt and I get stuck in it for 10 minutes, I finally get to the appt and she tells me they cancelled it that I was on the schedule for Monday. Only I cancelled my Monday appt for this appt on Friday. She said well your appt is still good for Monday. Lady I cancelled that one cause I can’t make it!! I work a full time job, I took the day off for this and you cancelled my appt without reaching out to me? This is total and complete bullshit. So now I’ve been in the car for 20 minutes just crying. I can’t stop it. I guess I can blame the hormones for that…

Oh, and its my hubby’s birthday. So on a good note he’s coming home early. I’m just ready to home with them.

I think my boss would probably be fine with me leaving on Monday to go to my first appt the problem is I’m only 9 weeks and haven’t told them yet. I have a great potential opportunity to get stock in the company and I’m worried this could hold them back from giving it to me. I know that not legal but hard to prove if it did happen so I’m just holding off with the thought the offers should be out by the end of April and then I can tell them.

Am I home with my babies yet?

Spring Break!!

We’ve had Katlyn since Friday, and I’ll tell you what, her sister LOVES her. Everything Katlyn does, Chloe copies. We’re definitely at the stage where Katlyn can either really help teach her good things, or she can teach her All the bad things we get onto Katlyn for. As of the last 2 days, it’s been the bad stuff.

Oh well, they have fun and love each other, so much so that Chloe threw a royal fit when I dropped her off at daycare today. The teacher had to pry her out of my hands and I just had to walk. It was horrible. I haven’t had to do that in a LONG time and it felt like crap. However, I did check in on the webcams and by the time I dropped Katlyn at camp and made it to work she was fine…

Glad to have them together. It’s good for them to bond and spend time together. Pretty soon ill get Katlyn back full time for the summer so I may as well get used to this!

Oh yeah, and Katlyn tried to convince daddy to sleep with her last night that he always sleeps in his bed with me… HA! I only see my husband 2-3 nights a week when the weekend finally makes it around, you can bet he’s sleeping with me and neither kid. I won’t sleep with them and neither will he, on occasion is they’re not feeling well, etc. they can jump in with us for a couple hours in the morning… This kid, thinking she has rights to him sleeping in her bed, craziness!! Next thing I know Chloe will be pissed too…

A couple of weeks ago Chloe had her first play date. She’s growing up and just thinks her friend is the coolest kid around!! This weekend we have her first school friends birthday party, my socialization skills are being put to the test…

75 and sunny today, of course we spent it at the park and with ice cream.

Too bad daddy’s been working, we’re used to no daddy during the week, but it sucks when he works weekends, especially since he’s doing 2 at least and that means 3 weeks without seeing him. We’ll all survive though…

We had a fun girls weekend! I hope spring is really coming…

Mike is working the next 2 weekends at a minimum. That means at least 3 weeks of not seeing him…. That sucks!

Oh well, Such is life in the business that we’re in. I am going to pick Katlyn up tonight to spend the weekend with Chloe and I, she’ll be sad Daddy isn’t there and then excited its a “girls weekend”! The simply joys for 7 year olds!

Anyways, here’s hoping the both act right and don’t drive me mad since I have noone to pass them off to when I hit my limit. I’m not so worried about Katlyn, but Chloe sure has been in her terrible twos this week!

Just did the hardest thing I’ve ever done… Watch my daughter cry for me on FaceTime and convince her to lay down and hold me with her. She fell asleep rather quickly after checking to make sure I was still there but wouldn’t let go of the phone even when she was asleep.

Mike tells me to quit beating myself up, that she’s being taken care of and she’ll be good once I get back. But that sure doesn’t make these couple of days any easier. Just seems to be getting harder for her, like she thinks I’m not coming back.

I just wish I could hold her right now…feeling like a pretty crappy mom right about now. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

I am out of town this week…

Normally it’s ok, I can use the break and Chloe could care less. This time, it’s breaking my heart. My sweet girl is very clearly missing me and it breaks my heart. I miss her too and am ready to be home already!

Here is to 3 more days out here… Wish me luck!

Earrings!!!

This trip to get her ears pierced sure did tear daddy up. He was all worried about choosing to cause her pain… But she proved ready when we were picking out her earrings and she kept on wanting them in. Then she did great when it was time, sat like a big girl, cried for a minute then stopped and wanted her sucker, stickers and to see them in her ears!! She’s such a big girl… I’m so ready to get home to her. She always loves me, pissed off and all, she reminds me it’ll be ok.

You know one of the worst things for me? Having my spouse pissed off at me over something dumb. It doesn’t happen often that we fight, and it wasn’t even a fight, it was him getting mad because I slept through about 20 phone calls from him last night. The problem is if there was a real problem I had my phone on vibrate and noone could get ahold of me. I understand that.

My problem is that I think he reads into it more and starts to question things that are not even a factor. I love my husband more than I can say. I knew immediately he was the one I would marry and that feeling has never changed. What’s funny is I was mad at him yesterday for not really calling me, then, when he finally decided to call, I was OUT cold. I truthfully don’t remember hearing it buzz even once, and the FaceTime call that came in on iPad scared the crap out of me!! I went to bed early and apparently for a good reason, I was super tired. I just wish he would quit being mad, it’s so frustrating, especially since he’s not home and so our phone calls just have such tension in them… I hate it. Last night and today have been pretty miserable for me.

And… End rant/pity party.

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